A fun thing about having a cute little baby is that even with weeks of careful planning, you’re at the mercy of the whims of a little human.

Every birth is different. Some dads handle it well, and others still manage to successfully bring their children into the world, despite their shortcomings.

There’s no better way to put what parenthood is like than the Mike Tyson quote: “Everybody has a plan until they’re punched in the mouth.”

Wait until you get that dad bod

As a dad you’ll find out quickly that you need a set list of “Punishments” or simple “Threats” that combat misbehavior in your children. Sometimes you’re a genius…and other times it backfires on you.

As I sit here reflecting during my final days of kid-free life, I’m realizing that I have a lot of thoughts I want to capture... I do believe that there is a central theme here: ya boi is an idiot. Not only that, although I’m as prepared as I possibly can be for my impending fatherhood, that doesn’t change the fact that I’m mildly terrified now that it’s becoming real.